Hai Kersani Mengalirlah Dikau ...

Around once a month or so, I would drive up to Kulim for work related trip. I usually would spend one or two nights over there. Call me coward if you want, but I never like spending my night in a hotel room alone. I never got a good sleep that way. And since I'm not the type who would call up suppliers to be entertained, my companion would be whatever is on the tv.

But last week was different. During lunch, a few of us got to talking about finding a good, old style 'tukang urut' for traditional massage. Our local friend said we have two options – normal body massage or special massage. We opted for the first. But, … our story takes a turn here.

Our first masseur was not available so we drove up to the 2nd masseur and were greeted by two angry ‘angsa’. Now, if you lived in a kampung before, you know how boisterous and terrifying an angsa could be. The four of us waited for about five minutes in the car not daring to get out of it.

Once out and after a short chit chat with our masseur Pak Kob, I was the first to go. I changed into an old ‘kain pelikat’ that double its original thickness due to oil residues from previous massages. Heck, Pak Kob could probably wash it every few years.

He started from around the knee area and right there I got a strange feeling since normally people will start from the feet. As he pushed his fingers deep into the vein, which is quite painful even though he’s close to 64 years of age, he hand would accidentally touch my ‘konek’. Aha, so this is the special part. I said to him, “dah malam ni kot, buat urut badan cukup la”. He replied, “eh tak pa ehhh, dah mai jauh2 tu”. I knew then that with two angry ‘angsa’ outside, I could not run away. Sounds of Hotel California keep playing in my head as Pak Kob made his moves.

I thought to myself, lucky I’m not gay. If not, I would have been excited by another man touching me ‘there’.

The session itself was quite short since there were 3 of us and we got to his around close to 10:00 p.m. already. As usual, afterwards Pak Kob tried to sell us a few of his traditional medicine. I did not buy anything but one of us spend around RM100.00 for the 3 kinds of ‘jamu’.

I’ll ask him next month if it works.